Dashboard win.

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20th
January
2,695 notes
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DAT ASS

DAT ASS

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7th
January
101 notes
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"

Actually this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That’s all, a little place for my stuff. That’s all I want, that’s all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody’s got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that’s your stuff, that’ll be his stuff over there. That’s all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That’s all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn’t have so much stuff, you wouldn’t need a house. You could just walk around all the time.

A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you’re saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!

"

George Carlin on Stuff 

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So your car breaks down…

You’re a devout christian on your way to work, you’re listening to the gospel station and suddenly your car breaks down. Of course this is gods plan, because he’s in charge of everything, so do you thwart gods decision to break it and fix your car? Does this mean he broke it just for you to fix it? Did he break it so you wouldn’t make it to work? Does this mean you shouldn’t go to work because god broke your car while on your way there?

What if god was breaking your car to give a mechanic more business. Does this mean god just chose a mechanic over you? What if the mechanic is an atheist? Is god using your money to help an atheist? What if he’s a better christian than you, what if he even built his churches altar. Does that mean better christians get worse christians money and blessings? 

Is this happening because you deserve it? Is god punishing you for something you did a long time ago? Or was it the devil? If the devil broke your car while trying to get to work then where was god? Did god let it happen because you deserved it? Then what’s the difference between god and the devil? If you pay the atheist mechanic are you helping the devil if it was the devils fault? If the devil wanted the atheist mechanic to make money off you do you take your car to a church? Are priests trained mechanics?

George Carling

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The Awkward Moment When You Realize You Have Been Living On A Floating Rock Your Whole Life

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The Awkward Moment When You Cant Sleep Because Your Contemplating The Complexities Of The Universe

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What if my future wife’s having sex right now??

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spacetimecontinumm:

when someone keeps texting you when your busy

(via osastar)

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